26 April 2022

Reading for a Rough Night

 I'm having a particularly rough night tonight. I feel like I'm trying to do everything at once: heal the trauma of abuse, recover financially from a hurricane (and surgery, and financial abuse), and grieve my brother, who died recently of complications from long Covid. It feels like too much, and yet I don't have the luxury of taking one thing at a time. I have to do these things, all of them. I have to get back on my feet again. 


My mind is in such turmoil, I don't even know what question to ask the cards. "Dafuq am I meant to do here?" is about all I can come up with. 

Just before drawing a card, I heard the word "Pray" in my head. Then from the LightSeer's Tarot, I drew the Ace of Wands, the Ace of Swords, and the 4 of Swords. Both those Aces look like prayers to me, Wands being contemplative, and Swords beaming thoughts into the sky in a manifesty kind of way. These two cards also remind me that I have an opportunity here for growth, and that I actually do have a great many ideas, some of which I've begun to put into motion. 

And that 4 of Swords just screams "Get some damn rest". I think I'll take the advice of the cards, say some prayers, and get some sleep. Maybe things will look different in the morning. 

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